Apr 5, 2021
Is there anything, or anyONE, in
your life that is making your life feel out of control? Are there
worries keeping you up at night or stealing joy and happiness from
the things you would like to be able to focus on or be more present
with, but that worry in the back of your mind is just kind of
always there, camped out, keeping you distracted or distraught?
Today’s episode is just for you!
We are going to teach you some
life-changing concepts and guiding principles that have helped both
Neil in his addiction and me in my journey with codependency. We’re
going to help you – or anyone else who has worries and stresses as
we all do – to identify what’s ours to control and when to let
From that deep codependency that
I lived in for so many years, I have hit rock bottom. And maybe
that’s just what I needed so I could really feel that depth of
despair and finally decide to not become a slave to my
At the end of the day, the best
way to live is to live in control of yourself, and not of other
people. Do what you know is best and that will bring you happiness
In this episode, you will hear:
- The Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the
serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change
the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
- It all comes down to trusting God and accepting
that there is a higher purpose, higher plan, and an eternal
perspective with whatever it is that's happening around
- There are all these different lies in addiction
so the wisdom to know the difference, or to see the self-deception,
to see the truth from error, or to see when you're lying to
yourself is totally key and it takes time.
- Having that connection with God through the
Spirit can help you differentiate and have the wisdom to know the
difference between truth and error – right and wrong.
- The concept of touching your nose is to remind
yourself that you are only in charge of yourself, and not of other
- Worrying doesn’t help solve your problems.
Whenever you attach to someone or something, you lose control. And
you forfeit your ability to think, feel, act, and take care of
- How Neil became codependent his own way and how
it built a lot of frustration and resentment which led to him
acting out more on his addiction
- How my happiness was so tied up in Neil's
happiness and how working my own 12-step program has helped me to
surrender things out of my control
- Surrender or detachment is not a one-time
event. It's an everyday decision, an art, and a way of
- "You need to detach most when it seems like the
least likely or possible thing to do." – the COVID situation is the best example of
- The 12-step is a step-by-step program. Whatever
step you're on, don't look beyond that step. And you have to be
willing to do each step.
- When we attempt to control people and things
that we have no business controlling, we are controlled. Jesus is
the perfect example of not trying to control others.
“Codependent No More” book by
Melody Beattie https://amzn.to/3tZGUg2
“Addiction Recovery Program: A
Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing” (ARP manual)
“Beware of Pride” Talk by Ezra
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